Monday, January 31, 2011

Avatar Sucked Ass

*****Spoilers Ahead*****

Now I know that everyone and their mother loved it, but I just watched it and found it nauseating.  It's a string of cliches packaged in a lame white guilt fantasy.  It's like a bunch of bleeding heart white liberals were sitting around going

"gee, I feel really bad about the destruction of the environment and the way that, historically, europeans have exploited and subjugated indigenous populations for their manpower, land and resources." 
"Hmm... yeah, I agree.  maybe we should do something about it." 
"OR, we could produce a movie that alludes to those issues, but will make billions of dollars, none of which will go toward helping the environment or improving the lives of the descendants of those our ancestors have wronged."

And everything in this movie is just so contrived.  The remorseless bad guy, the way the good guy turns from his original intent (full on with a scene of "it started out that way, but now I'm changed!"), the dramatic death of their comrades. Maybe it's because I've seen this 20 times before, but I just didn't care. I didn't care that the military guy was an asshole.  I didn't care that Giovanni Ribisi was a douchebag.  I didn't care that Sigourney Weaver died (or did she?  I kind of stopped paying attention for a while).  I didn't care that Jake Sully was fortuitously saved by his blue girlfriend, twice. 

And I'm not a tactician.  I've had no military training.  I'm not a marine like mister Jake Sully.  I'm no warrior like the Navi.  But it seems to me that the obvious thing to do would not be a headlong assault into a technologically superior enemy who can easily outgun you.  Ever heard of a flanking maneuver?  You mentioned something about having the homefield advantage.  Maybe use the terrain to your advantage.  Is there anywhere they would bottleneck or be particularly vulnerable?
Not to mention that when they rode their birds in, they physically assault the helicopter-esque flying machines.  Now I figured the obvious thing would be to have your giant birds pick up rocks or thick tree trunks or something and drop them through the rotors, since knocking even one rotor out would cause the entire helicopter to go down.  But whatever.  I mean, even if the rotors wouldn't tear apart from the impact, I would assume it would cause some type of damage that would negatively impact their maneuvering capability.
Or you could put big boulders up on those floating islands and maybe roll them off onto the aircraft and the soldiers below. 
Or maybe direct part of your assault toward the gunship with the super evil bad guy aboard, thereby taking down the chain of command, since your familiarity with the military probably allows you to know on which aircraft he would be. 
Or maybe have your foot soldiers circle around and attack from the rear to create a diversion before your horsemen charge in. 
And why waste Rodriguez's character?  They had her take their only aircraft and attack the commander's airship, but had no one backing her up?  Seems like while all of his guns were trained on her, it would have been a good idea for Sully to have jumped onboard and dropped his grenades then.  But I guess sacrificing her needlessly works too. 

Jake Sully is a moron and everyone would have died if the fucking planet didn't decide to save them by sending in all of the animals to help them. 

Now, all that being said, I guess that ultimately I only found the story itself craptastic.  The direction, effects, dialogue, acting, etc were all fine.  So even though the movie sucked story-wise, everything else was well done.  And obviously, the visual effects were amazing.  I guess it depends on what you watch the movie for.  If you're caught up in the visuals, you'll probably find the movie pretty interesting.  If the visuals are secondary to an interesting story, you'll probably think the movie sucks balls. 

Saturday, January 29, 2011

My Favorite Movie Scores

A post over at a blog I follow ( got me thinking about my favorite movie scores, so I thought I'd share them with you here:

Classic John Williams (Jaws, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Indiana Jones).  I really could have put any one of those up here as well, since they're all amazing.  But Jurassic Park has always stuck out to me. 

Lux Aeterna by Clint Mansell.  Never met a person who didn't like this.  Most used word to describe it? Epic.  I love the way it builds at the beginning.  And if you've ever watched Requiem for a dream, you know how perfectly this music matches the film.  It works especially well in the end scene and just leaves you with this haunting feeling. 

The score to The Rock has been one of my favorites ever since I first saw this movie when it aired on tv.  It's just badass.  Sometimes I don't like Hans Zimmer because some of his movie scores sound too similar (compare this to The Gladiator to Pirates of the Caribbean for example) but I guess that's just his style.  Honorable mention goes to his work on Black Hawk Down.

Surface of the Sun by John Murphy from the movie Sunshine.  One of my favorite movies and one of my favorite scores.   It's just really beautiful music.  I feel that it has this remarkable ability to take you up into it, if that makes any sense.  Like it absorbs you.  Haha, I sound like Serle talking about the sun room.  Sunshine fans know what I'm talking about.

Let me know what you think and recommend some other movie scores to me as well.

Random Website Dump

Here are a few random website you guys can check out.  Yes, I am feeling quite lazy today.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Why Your State Sucks

Courtesy of Time online

Interestingly, I'm from the state with the highest incidence of AIDs. 

Apparently It's Australia Day!

Just got the breaking news over at a blog I follow (called Breaking News).  You can check it out here:

I would just like to say that I effing love Australia.  I was there for 5 months to do a little school thingamajig.  It was amazing.  To celebrate Australia Day, here's a nice little song.

Aussie Aussie Aussie!

Conan is way better than Leno

Yeah, i don't really have anything to add to that.  Just saying.  Putting it out there.  If you don't like it you can send it right back.  On that note, Anchorman is an awesome movie. 

"you guys can't say anything?  Even the guy that can't think says something; you guys just stand there?"

The Green Hornet

So I went to see the Green Hornet today and was a little disappointed.  I say a little because my hopes weren't especially high in the first place, but it definitely let me down.  The guy they cast to play Kato, Jay Chou who is actually a huge sensation in East Asia, didn't do a proper job learning english and the film really suffers as a result.  There is just way too much Seth Rogen.  He tries admirably to pull it off as essentially a one-man duo but he ends up being more annoying than funny.  At least more than usual that is.

Also, several scenes were obviously filled for 3-D and just look odd in 2-D.  I guess if you watch it in 3-D you won't have this problem, so I guess I can't really fault the movie for that. 

Lastly, for a comedy, I just didn't think this movie was all that funny.  There were some funny bits, but as the whole, the movie was kind of boring.  I didn't care if Green Hornet and Kato were in danger, and I don't feel like the movie ever really did a good job of making it feel like they were in danger.  But maybe that's just because I've watched a lot of movies and have trouble turning my brain off to the fact that it is in fact a movie and expect certain things to happen, thereby destroying my ability to enter into the movie.  I don't know.  In any case, I would have expected a movie helmed by Michel Gondry (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Science of Sleep) to just be better.

Anyway, how did you guys like it?  Apparently it's done pretty well at the box office, being number one opening weekend. 

Here's some more information on it.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Cyanide and Happiness Comic?

Hey fellow bloggers, I wouuld appreciate finding a copy of a Cyanide and Happiness comic.  I've tried Google to no avail.  It's a crude picture of Vin Diesel offered in lieu of an actual comic because the artist was too lazy or something.  Much appreciated.  In return, here's a good C&N:

Also, who is your favorite comic artist?  Mine is definitely rob.  My least favorite is Matt. I'd be interested to hear your views.

Note:  All credit goes to

Oh Bo

I keep listening to this lately.  I just think it's really catchy.  Used to really like Bo Burnham, but as he gets more popular, I find myself liking him a whole lot less.  I think it's because he used to just be a funny guy on youtube, and now he's a mini-celebrity, which means that everybody that knows about him goes "Oh my God, I love Bo Burnham!  He's so funny!"  It bugs me when people think they're cool for knowing about something/someone pretty much everyone else knows about.  The only thing worse, I think, is the dreaded one-upper.  Anyhoo, here's the video I was talking about:

And a classic of his, and my personal favorite:

Definitely his most clever song, in my opinion.

And as a side note, Blogger has a really cool way of adding youtube videos.  Don't even need to go to youtube to copy-paste the embed code.  sweet.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

What is Feedburner?

If you click on your "Monetize" tab , then click "AdSense for feeds" you get a link like this:

Only thing is, I don't get what it's for.  Can anyone fill me in?

EDIT:  Thanks to your comments, I now have the answer.  Here's the best answer:

If someone subscribes to your blog via RSS it puts Adsense ads in the RSS feed itself. In others more clicks and more money. The link they give you is how your followers can subscribe to your RSS.

Credit goes to Chris.  Thanks a lot.  In appreciation, here's a free promotion of your blog:

I think I have an unhealthy obsession with Smoked Tabasco Sauce

It's recently come to my attention that I have like three bottles of it (all stolen from Chipotle, of course) and I put it on pretty much everything.  Burgers, sandwiches, chips, spaghetti, eggs, and the list goes on.  I think now my food is mostly a conveyance device for my smoked tabasco habit.  So yeah, random thought, but I thought I'd share since this is blogger.

And now, a few of my favorite GIFs

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Socially Awkward Penguin

We all know him. We all love him. He's socially awkward penguin.  These are just some of my favorites.

 Bonus: A couple demotivational posters I like

Apparently I'm on a website O.O   I'm listed as a fellow blogger, and I have no idea how I got on there.  It's especially weird because I neither presume nor aspire to be a legitimate reviewer of movies.  I just write out my poorly articulated thoughts that I don't really expect anybody to read.  So if you were directed here by, I apologize for the mediocre level and less than substantive value of my "reviews."  Maybe one day I'll find my voice, but in the meantime I hope you guys enjoy my blog anyway.  Happy movie viewing!

P.S.  All my fellow bloggers, check out the "Stats" tab on your dashboard to see traffic sources, page view information, and other cool stuff.

Screenshot Answers (Set 1)

Figured I may as well let you all know what these screenshots were from.  I'll also provide a few comments on each movie

1) Good Will Hunting
     - A surprisingly good movie considering Ben Affleck is in it.  I guess it's like Smokin' Aces that way.  Even though he's in the movie, hsi role is small enough and he plays it well enough that he can't ruin the movie.  Yes, I am still sore over Pearl Harbor, which is probably one of the most mismanaged movies in cinematic history.  But anyways, if you haven't seen it yet, I strongly recommend watching it.

2) Little Miss Sunshine
     - I really enjoy the cast in this movie.  I really enjoy the story.  And I just really like the movie.  I can't quite put my finger on why, but this movie is just really likable. 

3) Army of Darkness
     - Cult classic starring none other than the mighty Bruce Campbell.  So good that I think I'll watch it after I finish this post.

4) Joint Security Area
     - Korean film that, like all Korean films, leans towards the melodramatic side, but still a fantastic movie nonetheless.  Does a great job of exploring an unexpected friendship and holds your attention as the movie unveils the details of an eventful night on the DMZ.

5) The Big Lebowski
     - Another cult classic that spawned an annual gathering and screening of the movie.  Definitely check this one out if you haven't seen it.  It's like Office Space in that if you quote the movie, any fan will instantly know what you're talking about. 

6) Hackers
     - Eh, watch it or don't.  I personally like it, but I think it's more for nostalgic reasons.

7) Hancock
     - I really really wanted to like this movie.  Will Smith is just too damn affable.  But, frankly, the movie blows.  If it wasn't trying to be serious, maybe it could be forgiven, but the fact is that the movie actually tries to take itself seriously... and fails.  There are definitely some good aspects such as Hancock coming into his own as a superhero, but the flaws outweigh the good parts.  The movie just gets pretty ridiculous and doesn't make any damn sense in terms of multiple character interactions.  What specifically comes to mind are the uneven way the rules of immortals being together are applied and the sheer stupidity of the prison inmates attacking Hancock... who they know is invincible.  Give it a shot, but don't expect too much.

8) Lawrence of Arabia
     - Classic film that I really had to acclimate to.  As a 14 year old, it was a real pain to get through the grueling run time, but it was absolutely worth it.  But now, it stands out as one of my favorite movies and I try to watch it every so often. Absolutely epic and opened the door for me to movies such as Ben-Hur, The Maltese Falcon, Seven Samurai etc.  Once I saw one good classic, I got into all of them. 

9) To Kill A Mockingbird
     - Don't remember what really happens other than what I remember from the book.  As an aside, I read an interesting online article about how the novel is hailed as a beacon of anti-racism, but really just serves to reinforce common tropes and stereotypes, while acting as a white guilt fantasy.  Examples include the inability of the African American citizens to fight for themselves and the brave way Atticus stood up for Tom.  Apparently, there is not a single recorded incidence of such a defense.  Something I'll keep in mind during my next viewing.  

10) Princess Bride
     - This one seems to be a favorite of nearly everyone I know who has watched it.  I thoroughly enjoyed the movie, but it's not really a favorite of mine.  Check it out for yourself.

Behold, the Answer!

The moment you've all been waiting for.  Here's how you get the water into the cup.

1) Light the match on fire
2) Stick it in the lemon
3) Put the match-lemon in the middle of the dish
4) Put the glass upside down over the lemon

The match will burn up all the oxygen, creating a pressure differential.  The decrease in air pressure inside of the glass will cause the water to be sucked up into the glass.  Boom, hundred bucks

And now, on to my latest movie review.  She's the Man.  I know what you're thinking.  "Natural Peanut Butter, how could you ever watch such an obviously horrible movie?  You have such good taste.  You're too cool for that.  You're my hero!  I would throw my firstborn child off of a bridge for you!"  Well, I'll tell you why.  Sometimes, you just get the urge to turn off your brain.  And frankly, this movie wasn't as terrible as you would imagine.  There are actually a couple of good parts.  I think this movie is best described as a giant steaming turd with some undigested bits of corn.  So you have to wade through a lot of crap, but every so often, there's a nugget of sweet sweet gold.  Give it a try, yo.  Or, you know, you could spend your time watching a good movie.  Whatever. 

Monday, January 17, 2011

More screenshots

Hopefully these will be a little easier.

And a bonus.  Here's a random brain teaser:

A man in a restaurant asked a waiter for a juice glass, a dinner plate, water, a match, and a lemon wedge. The man poured enough water onto the plate to cover it.
"If you can get the water on the plate into this glass without touching or moving this plate, I will give you $100," the man said. "You can use the match and lemon to do this."
A few minutes later, the waiter walked away with $100 in his pocket. How did the waiter get the water into the glass?

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Interesting Factoids

Because something on my blog should be interesting.  And yes, I did just copy-paste these from the first site I found on Google.

  1. One quarter of the bones in your body, are in your feet.
  2. Only 55% of all Americans know that the sun is a star.
  3. Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
  4. Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
  5. Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
  6. Over 1000 birds a year die from smashing into windows.
  7. Owls are one of the only birds who can see the color blue.
  8. Pamela Anderson Lee is Canada's Centennial Baby, being the first baby born on the centennial anniversary of Canada's independence.
  9. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
  10. Penguins can jump as high as 6 feet in the air.
  11. Pinocchio is Italian for "pine head."
  12. Playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII. If captured, they could be soaked in water and unfolded to reveal a map for escape.
  13. Polar Bears trying to blend in with the ice will sometimes cover up their black nose with their paws.
  14. Pollsters say that 40 percent of dog and cat owners carry pictures of the pets in their wallets.
  15. Q is the only letter in the alphabet that does not appear in the name of any of the United States.
  16. Recycling one glass jar, saves enough energy to watch T.V for 3 hours.
  17. Reindeer like to eat bananas.
  18. Research indicates that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.
  19. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
  20. Sherlock Holmes never said "Elementary, my dear Watson."
  21. Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns.
  22. Since 1896, the beginning of the modern Olympics, only Greece and Australia have participated in every Games.
  23. Slugs have 4 noses.
  24. Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they can't find any food.
  25. Some toothpaste's contain antifreeze.
  26. Spotted skunks do handstands before they spray.
  27. "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
  28. Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself.
  29. Sylvia Miles had the shortest performance ever nominated for an Oscar with "Midnight Cowboy." Her entire role lasted only six minutes.
  30. Texas is also the only state that is allowed to fly its state flag at the same height as the U.S. flag.
  31. The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie." (Thus the name of the Don McLean song.)
  32. The average American drinks about 600 sodas a year.
  33. The average American will eat about 11.9 pounds of cereal per year.
  34. The average bank teller loses about $250 every year.
  35. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
  36. The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year. 
  37. The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night.
  38. The average person laughs 15 times a day.
  39. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

I hate Stiffly Stiffersons

I want to prank them for hours in my basement...

Ah, the good old days when I actually enjoyed SNL on a regular basis.  

Sorry but I didn't know how to embed the video.  I followed the embed button then copied the html, but didn't work when I previewed it.  If anyone knows how to do it, please let me know. 

Moving on, I watched an interesting movie entitled "Hell in the Pacific" yesterday.  It's about a Japanese soldier (Toshiro Mifune of Kurosawa movie fame) that gets marooned on an island alongside an American Pilot (Lee Marvin).  I enjoyed this movie because the growing connection wasn't really shoved in my face.  There weren't warm moments where one guy shows great compassion toward the other and a look of understanding comes into the enemy combatant's eyes.  There wasn't a montage of them teaching skills to each other and working as a team to create a paradise.  Because of this, I felt the relationship evolved naturally and was believable.  But if you watch this movie, be warned that it has one of the most unsatisfying endings ever.  I guess the director didn't want to be cliched, but I was like "seriously?"  Think No Country for Old Men.

I also watched and enjoyed Amelie.  It's a cute little French movie with a wonderful main character and great supporting characters to boot.  I think that's why I enjoyed this movie so much.  Not only is Amelie extremely likable, but every character has their own little quirks and you enjoy learning about them.  Also, it has a really unique feel to it, like I have never watched another movie quite like it.

Check them out and tell me what you think. 

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

What has four legs and ticks?

- A walking clock?
- A walking clock!
- I'd wager he has some variety of walking clock in that box!

And now, in perfect relevance to the post title, Natural Peanut Butter's movie screenshot game! 

Have fun playing and tell me if you guys enjoy it.  I own like four hundred movies and can post some new ones if there's interest in the game.  Maybe this can be a regular thing and, assuming I get followers, I can keep a running total of scores.

My Man Godfrey

Figured this was as good a first blog post as any.  My Man Godfrey is a great little gem of a movie that most people have probably never heard about.  It's an old black and white from 1936 about a homeless man with a surprising past who gets a job as a butler for a dysfunctional family.  It's actually a very funny movie and works really well.  Best part is that it's public domain and you can download or watch it for free at   Since I'm not very adept at articulating why I like the movies I like, I suggest you guys just go watch it.